For his non-fiction book Liebe Frau Merkel ("Dear Mrs Merkel"), Thomas Ganzhorn sent letters written from the perspective of children to figures from politics and business, including Friedrich Merz and Google. One of these letters landed at Kurtz Detective Agency. The response from our owner, Patrick Kurtz, can be found both in the book and below.

 

Thomas Ganzhorn: Liebe Frau Merkel, Carl Ueberreuter Verlag, Vienna, 120 pages, €16.00, ISBN: 978-3-8000-7754-0

Blurb from Thomas Ganzhorn: "Liebe Frau Merkel"

Many things and topics are explained very complicatedly, especially in politics, which often speaks in a language difficult to decode. Companies also frequently hide behind marketing messages and clichés. Even adults sometimes cannot understand these explanations. Author Thomas Ganzhorn wants to know more and seeks answers everyone can understand. Therefore, he poses questions to politicians and decision-makers from the perspective of children Marie (9) and Timo (12).

 

The two receive a variety of responses. For example, a private detective and a municipal police department explain how their work really functions, while the head of Berlin Airport not only clarifies the many construction delays but also offers a personal guided tour.

Timo’s Letter to Kurtz Detective Agency Munich

The book’s fictional letter writer, “Timo”, 12, wants to become a detective—taking inspiration from Inspector Gadget. He asks whether Germany offers detective training, whether he could do an internship with us, and what being a detective is really like.

Response from Kurtz Detective Agency to Aspiring Young Detective Timo

Dear Timo,

 

Thank you very much for your letter to Kurtz Detective Agency.

 

Many people dream of becoming a detective—not just children. My team and I regularly receive applications from adults explaining why they want to work as private investigators, often as “career changers.” And inspiration frequently comes from characters and stories in books, films, or series.

 

I myself encountered Inspector Gadget as a child, just like you, and other stories, such as the adventures of “The Famous Five,” may have subconsciously influenced my later decision to become a detective. I can say, however, that Sherlock Holmes inspired me early on, so much so that I even started smoking a pipe—a year older than you at the time—so please don’t imitate me! Hobbits, wizards, and dwarves also played their part, thanks to the ever-smoking J. R. R. Tolkien. So not just reclusive detectives.

 

I first studied literature before turning to detective work. In Germany, there is detective training, but it is not officially state-recognised. Only private institutes offer courses for a significant fee, which is how I trained at a kind of private detective school in Berlin. Alternatively, you could work as an investigator in public service—police, customs, or intelligence. This path is paid, and after some years of experience, you could realise your dream of running your own detective agency, perhaps even with financial reserves to help you through the difficult start-up period.

As a skilled detective, you really do catch “bad guys” almost every day—mostly fraudsters and thieves, sometimes violent offenders. But much of the work is helping people: parents who can’t see their children, people searching for loved ones, or entrepreneurs whose businesses are threatened.

 

Being observed yourself happens occasionally, but cases in which a target notices you are rare. We always balance discretion with thorough surveillance. Sometimes concerned neighbours call the police because a “suspicious man” sits in his car all day. Or when observing near a school, people may misinterpret your intentions. For this reason, it can be wise to inform local authorities. But there are also positive moments: once, two kind men offered me hot coffee, thinking I was sleeping in my car in winter.

 

As you can see, detective work is varied. Rarely murder or violence, but very often about human interaction.

 

I would love to offer you a student internship, but detective work requires protecting client and target data. Discretion is key. Allowing interns in our office is not something I can responsibly do. Imagine recognising a target from your personal life or TV—you could never let that slip.

 

Nevertheless, the detective industry needs young talent. If even a quirky literature nerd like me became a detective, you can too. Keep pursuing your dream. Perhaps one day you’ll visit me, colleague to colleague, maybe even over a well-earned pipe. I would look forward to that!

 

Warm regards from my second home in currently absurdly sunny Scotland,

Private Detective Patrick Kurtz

Note

Bold highlights and links on this page are added by Kurtz Detective Agency and are not in the Ueberreuter publication.

Kurtz Detective Agency Munich

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D-80687 Munich | München

Tel.: +49 89 7007 4301

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